The heat. It’s crept in and sat on Portland like a lingering Dorito fart. It’s unwelcome, and proving to us Northwestern natives that we are just not built for this. At the Print Julep house, in the heart of Alberta street, we are reminded with every passing hipster that doesn’t believe in anti-perspirant that isn’t made by Tom’s (THAT STUFF IS A WHITE STICK OF ORGANIC LIES AND FAILURE) that when you heat up poor people who spend their money on vegan leather wardrobes, they smell exactly like an Artisan shart.
So, we did what we do best here at Print Julep. We invited a friend over and and made some drinks and talked about some comics. Well, as best we could with limited AC and no pre-planning whatsoever.
Here’s our shitty video about how to make that… For more clarification, the recipe is at the bottom of the post.
We invited over Solanah, our friend from across the river. Solanah is kind of a big deal on Instagram. (Follow her @Solanah.) We try not to fan girl over her, but every time we see her she looks perfect, and I look like I live in yoga pants and guilt. (for not actually ever doing yoga, but wearing yoga pants to increase the number of tacos I can eat in a sitting.) But, this is why I write blogs and take pictures of things that aren’t ME, and why SHE is an Instagram star, because LOOK AT HER.
Also, Solanah was inspiration for some other Comic book art. Off topic, but if you haven’t yet, you should definitely check out “The Fade Out.”
Funny story, I’d picked it up in the store right when it came out. And yes, Dottie Quinn did look familiar. It wasn’t until a fan pointed out to Solanah that she thought her likeness had been used.
She tweeted the artist, Sean Phillips, and sure enough, he’d used her photos as inspiration for Dottie’s look.
We had discussed the possibility of reviewing comics that were set in the South. Like Southern Bastards. But it just didn’t seem like the day for it. We converged at The Alberta (the name of the Print Julep House) and all we could really talk about was how freaking awesome the new reboot of Sabrina the Teenage Witch was. Solanah came over for a spell (see what I did there?) and it was decided that while Mint Juleps really have nothing to do with Sabrina, it was the perfect day to drink as many of them as possible and talk about comics anyway.
And so, it was settled. Amongst crushing ice and not so discreetly checking our own armpits constantly for hints of offense, we chatted about what exactly makes the new Sabrina so intriguing and why we like it so much.
Archie Comics puts out this treasure. And basically, it’s just outright badass. The name is fitting. The Adventures and even the back story are straight up chilling. Sabrina’s father is a total dick, and that family makes me feel so much better about my own.
This one time my sister pinned me down for calling her fat, sat on my hands with her knees, and licked my eye ball. I thought that was the worst thing ever. But Sabrina’s father stole her from her mother when she was a baby, and then turned her mom into a vegetable and admitted her to an insane asylum where she would be mentally tortured for the rest of her life. That’s SO rude.
So the story its self is dark. It’s nothing like the crappy 90’s TV show, though I will openly confess here: I LOVED THAT SHOW. LOVED IT. Nor does it resemble the original Archie Sabrina.
I’m talking a real re-boot update.
It’s like what it would look like if the Scooby Doo gang did some laced shrooms, and then channel hopped over to Josie and the Pussy Cats and went all Carrie on them.
Not really coincidence, however. As the writer of the reboot, Roberto Aguirre-Saracas, is ALSO a writer for the newest Carrie.
Still, horror writer expert, he does a fantastic job of juxtaposing the lighthearted thoughts of a teen with the dark, chilling reality of an actual Wiccan coven and the actuality that Satan and Evil are a part of their lives.
And while there is an evil aspect to Sabrina’s strange family dynamic, living with her two aunts and her cat, Salem, it illustrates beautifully (and uber traditionally thanks to Robert Hack’s throwback GENIUS) that even those who have sold their souls still want and need love. It begs the question… If even the damned need and want love, what is true evil? And is it caused by lack of love? And if it’s not a choice, if you were born into it, are you truly evil and damned?
..those are questions that go through my head anyway. Along with “I wonder if Kate will give me five dollars if I eat all that mac and cheese in less than ten minutes.”
All in all, I’m looking forward to the next issue of Sabrina the same way I look forward to my next Orothodontic appointment. Being that, I know it’s going to be TOTALLY worth it, but I will most likely be surprised, a little uncomfortable, and unable to sleep afterward.
Now for how to make A PRINT JULEP!
First: Mint Simple Syrup.
What you’ll need:
What to do:
Traditional Simple Syrup calls for equal parts sugar and water.
1 Cup Water
1 Cup Sugar
Let’s say about 10 Mint Leaves
Put it all in a pan and let it boil. It’ll be grainy at first, then cloudy. But when your syrup is ready, It’ll be totally clear.
Strain it into a cup you can pour out of for mixing your drinks. We used a measuring cup because it has a handle.
That’s how you do it.
1. Fill a Pint Glass half way with ice
3. Add about 1/4 oz of Simple Syrup.
4. Take two large Mint Leaves, and slap them between your hands for the extracts. Then place them in the cup.
5. Slam a shaker on top of the pint Glass and shake. Look for crushed up mint leaves and a frosted exterior on the metal shaker to know it’s been mixed well enough.
6. Smash ice in a bag or a cloth.
7. Fill a cup with smashed ice and mound it like a snow cone.
8. Pour the drink over the ice
9. To make it a PRINT Julep, add Action Bubbles! or, just some Ginger Beer. Same thing, for a little refreshing bubbly lift and a ginger twist.
10. Garnish with a mint leaf and an insult that ends with “Bless her heart.”
11. Retire to the porch and try to keep cool. And if you’re Solanah, look effortlessly perfect and awesome at all times.