We haven’t been in a coma. We were not kidnapped by angry Alberta hipsters and taken to a seminar on repsonsible recycling and gluten free practices for the lowest environmental impact. We were not hit by a naked bicyclist.
Also, even though Print Julep didn’t film in January, it didn’t stop us from livin’ the Comics Dream- and by that we mean “working really, really, really hard on awesome things with no money coming in because that is the reality of an artistic choice in profession in the United States.”
While we were drowning in other projects, we did manage to film a Holiday Episode that detailed how to make a Naughty Nog. No books were reviewed for our holiday episode, but in celebration of our Local Comic Shop getting a newer/bigger location, we made a gingerbread Comic Shop (Print Julep Style) because that’s how we roll.
If you don’t want to sit through another horribly produced video on how to make this naughty nog, (complete with tips on how to pass the time while the mix cools in the fridge) here is a recipe breakdown of how to make the Naughty Nog…so you don’t have to wait for the the drag of the holidays to try to be artisinal n’ shit.
YOU WILL NEED:
4 eggs separated yolks and whites
1 cup heavy cream
2 cups milk
1/3 cup sugar +1 tablespoon
1 teaspoon freshly ground nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon cardamom
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
4 oz Bourbon
Start by heating the milk and heavy cream in a sauce pan until simmering around the edges and just barely boiling.
While the milk mixture heats, beat the egg yolks and sugar until they lighten in color and double in size.
Set the egg whites aside in the fridge to use later.
Temper the eggs with the hot milk mixture by slowly pouring it in while the eggs are whipping. It should take about 30 seconds to a minute to fully incorporate.
*When fully incorporated, there is a thick foam layer that will form from being whipped. It will dissolve as you stir over heat*
Place the mixture into a heavy bottom sauce pan, Add nutmeg, Cinnamon, and cardamom. Heat on medium-high, stirring frequently, until mixture reaches 160 degrees and thickens slightly.
Take off from heat and pour into a glass bowl.
Add 4 oz of the most delicious Bourbon you can think of.
We used Whippersnapper because of the sweet yet balanced taste.
Stir until combined and then cool in the refrigerator for about 2 hours.
When mixture is completely cooled, take egg whites out and begin whipping them until they start foaming slightly.
Add 1 Tablespoon of sugar and then beat until stiff peaks form. Using a large whisk, fold egg whites into the egg yolk custard until combined.
(The amount of times ‘beat’ is used in this recipe is difficult to resist added jokes. Please admire my restraint.)
Pour in a pitcher and get shit faced.
Did you get a really good idea of how to pour this shit into a really cute, holiday themed, Pinterest worthy pitcher? Did you? Because I wanted to make sure as I took the photos that this could apply to those who might not know how to do that. I really hope that condescendingly (yet beautifully photographed) tutorial above was helpful to someone.
Now. Here’s a tutorial on how to do the last step.
Did you just get a little sick to your stomach because of how ridiculously sweet and cute that just was?
Do you feel all warm with the holiday spirit(s)?
Are you inspired to put up a calendar in your house with a countdown to the holidays now, and start planning a party (in February) for the holiday party you’re gonna throw where you can make that super badass egg nog that is chock full of liquor and happiness and party-foul potential?
Here’s what happens after you help yourself to a few of those delicious treats in a cute glass. (other than getting fat. That happens.)
You make a cheap ass Gingerbread house. And you use an anti-depressant to dot the ‘i’ because Seasonal Defective Disorder..because PORTLAND IN DECEMBER.
Then you start making Dick in a Box jokes.
Then you start feeling all artistic and worth something, so you take really nice photos of holiday things around the house that reflect your “unique nerdy style.”
So that last one doesn’t reflect my unique nerdy style…but it was an absolutely beautiful steak that Claire made for dinner, and by that time, I was seriously ready for some dinner. And then I was like “Wow. Look at that steak. That is a thing of beauty.” Right after I looked around to make sure no one saw my drool on my shirt, I had a photo shoot with it and talked to it like a playboy model. And then I ate it.
That’s the story of the steak photo.
We spent the rest of the night doing gingerbread stuff and laughing and enjoying the fruits of our labor…with every intention of putting a blog up about it BEFORE FEBRUARY. But sometimes we fail in life. And sometimes, especially in Portland, people fail a lot and do it very stylishly and then turn it into a career. So we’re just gonna own that for right now, k?
Here’s some more pictures.
I’m on a roll. Maybe I’ll post January’s blog in February. Things are improving. (DO NOT DISAGREE WITH ME, I HAVE LOW SELF ESTEEM.)
Cheers! Awesome things to come in 2015, we promise!
(to skip all this and just watch the videos, scroll down to the bottom.)
Lumberjanes had quickly become the issue I eagerly awaited on a monthly basis. I wanted it to be in my box every time I went to the comic shop. I shared this with Claire and Kate, who fell just as hard as I did. We would have to pay homage. This would happen somehow.
I love everything about this comic. I love that it’s new, and it’s an easy place to start if you’re new to comics. There isn’t 50 years of story to catch up on. It’s not gory and full of nudity or violence or bad language. It’s fun, lighthearted, and has an amazing art, flow, and story to back it up.
Boom! Studios puts this comic out. For those of you who are new to comics, you’ll find that this studio typically puts out comics for the younger people (and young at heart.) They also do licensed work like Adventure Time . (Licensed means that it was a TV show or a movie before it became a comic book.)
Synopsis: Five best friends go to summer camp in a forest they soon discover is full of dangerous mythical creatures, all of which seem intent to destroy the Lumberjanes. They stick together and show repeatedly that if you work together, you can accomplish anything.
While the forest at my home is not full of creatures trying to kill us, you wouldn’t know it based on the way the day went.
The sun crested the cascade mountains at my home, a property way up in the hills outside of Portland, dubbed “The Shire.” Ducks peacefully roam with chickens, a pack of dogs patrol the perimeter awaiting guests to arrive and provide treats.
It was the day of our very first Print Julep web shoot.
Claire and Kate arrived with the food. I was put in charge of the technology. (Mistake #1.) I think now is as good of a time as any to tell you:
WE HAVE NEVER FILMED ANYTHING EVER.
I mean, how hard can it be right?(read that in a Russian accent for full effect) You turn on camera, you take moving picture like famous director and then, boom. You win Oscar statue. (still Russian.) No problem.
-end Russian accent-
Claire and I had spent the day before prepping for the day’s activities. Along with cooking fantastic Lumberjanes inspired meals, we’d be making a cocktail, as well as other festivities.
Shooting the junk out of an evil Red Raptor may or may not have been one of them…
We felt fairly confident that we had done what we needed to do in order to shoot a successful, awesome, PERFECT and PROFESSIONAL first Webisode.
Among many issues, Claire got cripplingly painful shin splints within the first hour or so of the day. Because I have chronic back pain from my days in the Rodeo (absolutely serious about that, by the way. I’ll show you pictures one day) I happen to have prescription strength pain killers at my disposal always. I gave two to Claire to ease her pain- which they did. However, I didn’t realize she never takes pills, so not only did they kill her shin splints, they put her on a magical roller coaster that lasted alllll day. We did this about three weeks ago, just so you know- the shin splints have NEVER come back.
Issue two- we filmed half of our footage out of focus.
Issue three- I had no idea how to work the microphones we borrowed.
So, to recap, Claire was high, Kate got drunk, I had no idea what we were doing, I could NOT stop dancing to that catchy Lumberjanes Cave Mix on Spotify, and 95% of our footage turned out like Raptor poo.
Kate not only managed to lose most of the arrows, she also nearly killed one of my chickens. (absolutely serious about that too. We have footage, and it’s in focus, crazy enough.) Which is bananas, because the arrows shouldn’t have gone anywhere near the chickens. I later realized Kate was left-handed, shooting my right-handed bow, and aiming with her left eye. It explained why arrows were flying completely the wrong way. Many of which are still missing to this day.
My ducks may have also been traumatized by being chased by a buzzed and accidentally high Claire and Kate.
At the end of the day, we survived. My chickens survived. My ducks survived. Our pride- perhaps not so much.
But hey! Whatever! We had some amazing food, awesome cocktails, and a day we will never forget with rad friends who are crazy enough to think this was a good idea. We stuck together, and awesome things happened. I’d say it was a successful mission in the name of the Lumberjanes.
Friendship to the Max!
Sloppy (Lumberjane) Jo
YOU WILL NEED:
1.5 Lb of 20% fat Ground Beef
4 Chopped Tomatoes
1 Chopped Whole Yellow Onion
Spice Mix Containing:
2 Tbsp Brown Sugar
1 tsp Garlic Powder
1 tsp Onion Powder
1 tsp Cayenne Pepper
1/2 tsp Salt
1/2 tsp Pepper
Start by browning your ground beef in a large pan and taking a bit of the fat out of it. Do this on MEDIUM heat, to allow the juices to incorporate evenly with the meat.
Once the beef is browned and cooked, take it out of the pan and put it in a bowl, but leave the grease and fat in the pan.
Put your chopped onions in the same pan you browned your beef in. stir them around a bit on MEDIUM heat, then add your spice mix. Give it a minute or so to cook together.
Next, add your chopped tomatoes and let this cook down. All the juice and water from the tomatoes will let this cook down to a nice sauce. When the tomatoes are pretty softened and you get a warm, more liquid-ish, softer saucy texture, add your ground beef back in.
While your sauce is cooking down. put some butter and garlic on your buns (hehehe) and put them in the oven on a lower heat setting, just to warm them up and toast them a bit.
Add about a tablespoon of dijon mustard, and about three tablespoons of tomato paste.
Stir it all up together and make sure it’s all warm.
Pull your buns out of the oven, and plat’em up with the Sloppy Jos.
In the name of Joan Jett- THAT’Swhat’s going on.
S’mores Cocktail (aka: Challis Ambrosia to the Kitten Holy)
Coconut milk. (or regular milk if you’re not lactose intolerant like Chelsea.) (Please don’t ask about the milkshake incident.)
Crushed Graham crackers on a small plate
Melt down the chocolate in a pot on the stove. Use a medium heat to avoid burning the chocolate. Add in the amount of milk you want for the intensity of the chocolate. If you want it to be richer in chocolate, add less milk. If you want it to be not as chocolatey and more coffee-ish from the rum, add more milk.
When your hot cocoa mix is ready, take your cup, hold it from the bottom, flip it upside down, and dip just the rim in the hot cocoa.
Then, dip the rim in the piled crushed graham cracker on the plate. The crumbs from the graham cracker will stick to the chocolatey rim.
Next, pour about 1 oz (or more) of Coffee Rum into the cup.
Fill almost the rest of the way to the top with the hot chocolate.
Roast your marshmallow, and when it is ready and super soft (or on fire, or burned) plop it in the top and stir it in to your cocktail.
I can only imagine what would happen if Ripley had one of these.
And finally, if you’d like to actually watch the video that is cautionary tale lore for those of you who think Webcasting is a piece of cake… by all means, here it is. We just consider the fact that it’s very representative of us. A little rough around the edges, but it gets the point across.
Here’s our first ever video where we give you a tutorial on how to make those magical Sloppy Jos, and then talk about how much we love the book. Excuse the long intro- we’ll consider it a formal introduction. Hey world! Nice to meet you!
And here’s where we show you how to make that S’mores Cocktail!
Comixin' Cocktails. Step 1. Read Comic. Step 2. Throw Dinner Party. Step 3. Randomly invite a someone who works in the Comics Industry to get fed the foods and drink the drinks. Step 4. ? Step 5. Blog & Video.