Tag Archives: Alberta Street

Sabrina, Solanah, and Print Juleps in a Portland Heatwave.

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The heat. It’s crept in and sat on Portland like a lingering Dorito fart.  It’s unwelcome, and proving to us Northwestern natives that we are just not built for this.    At the Print Julep house, in the heart of Alberta street, we are reminded with every passing hipster that doesn’t believe in anti-perspirant that isn’t made by Tom’s (THAT STUFF IS A WHITE STICK OF ORGANIC LIES AND FAILURE) that when you heat up poor people who spend their money on vegan leather wardrobes, they smell exactly like an Artisan shart.

So, we did what we do best here at Print Julep.  We invited a friend over and and made some drinks and talked about some comics. Well, as best we could with limited AC and no pre-planning whatsoever.

Here’s our shitty video about how to make that…  For more clarification, the recipe is at the bottom of the post.

We invited over Solanah, our friend from across the river. Solanah is kind of a big deal on Instagram. (Follow her @Solanah.)  We try not to fan girl over her, but every time we see her she looks perfect, and I look like I live in yoga pants and guilt. (for not actually ever doing yoga, but wearing yoga pants to increase the number of tacos I can eat in a sitting.)   But, this is why I write blogs and take pictures of things that aren’t ME, and why SHE is an Instagram star, because LOOK AT HER.

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Also, Solanah was inspiration for some other Comic book art. Off topic, but if you haven’t yet, you should definitely check out “The Fade Out.” 

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Photo borrowed from Solanah’s blog, http://www.Vixen-Vintage.com

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Funny story, I’d picked it up in the store right when it came out. And yes, Dottie Quinn did look familiar. It wasn’t until a fan pointed out to Solanah that she thought her likeness had been used.
She tweeted the artist, Sean Phillips, and sure enough, he’d used her photos as inspiration for Dottie’s look.

We had discussed the possibility of reviewing comics that were set in the South. Like Southern Bastards. But it just didn’t seem like the day for it.  We converged at The Alberta (the name of the Print Julep House) and all we could really talk about was how freaking awesome the new reboot of Sabrina the Teenage Witch was. Solanah came over for a spell (see what I did there?) and it was decided that while Mint Juleps really have nothing to do with Sabrina, it was the perfect day to drink as many of them as possible and talk about comics anyway.

And so, it was settled.  Amongst crushing ice and not so discreetly checking our own armpits constantly for hints of offense, we chatted about what exactly makes the new Sabrina so intriguing and why we like it so much.

 Archie Comics puts out this treasure. And basically, it’s just outright badass.  The name is fitting.   The Adventures and even the back story are straight up  chilling.   Sabrina’s father is a total dick, and that family makes me feel so much better about my own.
This one time my sister pinned me down for calling her fat, sat on my hands with her knees, and licked my eye ball. I thought that was the worst thing ever.   But Sabrina’s father stole her from her mother when she was a baby, and then turned her mom into a vegetable and admitted her to an insane asylum where she would be mentally tortured for the rest of her life.      That’s SO rude.

So the story its self is dark. It’s nothing like the crappy 90’s TV show, though I will openly confess here: I LOVED THAT SHOW.  LOVED IT.   Nor does it resemble the original Archie Sabrina.
I’m talking a real re-boot update.

Going from this:
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to THIS.

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It’s like what it would look like if the Scooby Doo gang did some laced shrooms, and then channel hopped over to Josie and the Pussy Cats and went all Carrie on them.
Not really coincidence, however. As the writer of the reboot, Roberto Aguirre-Saracas, is ALSO a writer for the newest Carrie.
Still, horror writer expert, he does a fantastic job of juxtaposing the lighthearted thoughts of a teen with the dark, chilling reality of an actual Wiccan coven and the actuality that Satan and Evil are a part of their lives.

And while there is an evil aspect to Sabrina’s strange family dynamic, living with her two aunts and her cat, Salem, it illustrates beautifully (and uber traditionally thanks to Robert Hack’s throwback GENIUS) that even those who have sold their souls still want and need love.  It begs the question… If even the damned need and want love, what is true evil?  And is it caused by lack of love? And if it’s not a choice, if you were born into it, are you truly evil and damned?
..those are questions that go through my head anyway. Along with “I wonder if Kate will give me five dollars if I eat all that mac and cheese in less than ten minutes.”

All in all, I’m looking forward to the next issue of Sabrina the same way I look forward to my next Orothodontic appointment. Being that, I know it’s going to be TOTALLY worth it, but I will most likely be surprised, a little uncomfortable, and unable to sleep afterward.

Now for how to make A PRINT JULEP!

 First: Mint Simple Syrup.
What you’ll need:

Sugar.
Water
Mint Leaves

What to do:

Traditional Simple Syrup calls for equal parts sugar and water.

So-

1 Cup Water
1 Cup Sugar
Let’s say about 10 Mint Leaves

Put it all in a pan and let it boil. It’ll be grainy at first, then cloudy. But when your syrup is ready, It’ll be totally clear.
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Strain it into a cup you can pour out of for mixing your drinks.  We used a measuring cup because it has a handle.

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That’s how you do it.

 

MINT (Print) JULEP RECIPE:
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1. Fill a Pint Glass half way with ice

2. 3 shots of Bourbon.  We, of course, use Burnside Bourbon by Eastside Distilling, because they keep our Spirits Up. (eh? EH?)
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3. Add about 1/4 oz of Simple Syrup.

4. Take two large Mint Leaves, and slap them between your hands for the extracts. Then place them in the cup.

5. Slam a shaker on top of the pint Glass and shake.  Look for crushed up mint leaves and a frosted exterior on the metal shaker to know it’s been mixed well enough.

6. Smash ice in a bag or a cloth.

7. Fill a cup with smashed ice and mound it like a snow cone.

8. Pour the drink over the ice

9. To make it a PRINT Julep, add Action Bubbles!  or, just some Ginger Beer. Same thing, for a little refreshing bubbly lift and a ginger twist. 

10. Garnish with a mint leaf and an insult that ends with “Bless her heart.”

11. Retire to the porch and try to keep cool.  And if you’re Solanah, look effortlessly perfect and awesome at all times.

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Sloppy Jos with the Lumberjanes in The Shire

(to skip all this and just watch the videos, scroll down to the bottom.) 

Lumberjanes had quickly become the issue I eagerly awaited on a monthly basis. I wanted it to be in my box every time I went to the comic shop.  I shared this with Claire and Kate, who fell just as hard as I did.   We would have to pay homage.  This would happen somehow.

Lumberjanes is written by Noelle Stevenson and Grace Ellis. The art is by Brooke Allen, and the lettering by Aubrey Aiese.

I love everything about this comic.  I love that it’s new, and it’s an easy place to start if you’re new to comics.  There isn’t 50 years of story to catch up on.  It’s not gory and full of nudity or violence or bad language.  It’s fun, lighthearted, and has an amazing art, flow, and story to back it up.

Boom! Studios puts this comic out.  For those of you who are new to comics, you’ll find that this studio typically puts out comics for the younger people (and young at heart.) They also do licensed work like Adventure Time . (Licensed means that it was a TV show or a movie before it became a comic book.)

Synopsis: Five best friends go to summer camp in a forest they soon discover is full of dangerous mythical creatures, all of which seem intent to destroy the Lumberjanes.  They stick together and show repeatedly that if you work together, you can accomplish anything.

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While the forest at my home is not full of creatures trying to kill us, you wouldn’t know it based on the way the day went.

The sun crested the cascade mountains at my home, a property way up in the hills outside of Portland, dubbed “The Shire.”   Ducks peacefully roam with chickens, a pack of dogs patrol the perimeter awaiting guests to arrive and provide treats.

It was the day of our very first Print Julep web shoot.

Kate catches up on Lumberjanes, while we prep and dance to the Lumberjanes Cave Mix on Spotify.

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Claire and Kate arrived with the food.  I was put in charge of the technology. (Mistake #1.)  I think now is as good of a time as any to tell you:

WE HAVE NEVER FILMED ANYTHING EVER.

I mean, how hard can it be right?(read that in a Russian accent for full effect)  You turn on camera, you take moving picture like famous director and then, boom. You win Oscar statue. (still Russian.)  No problem.

-end Russian accent-

Claire and I had spent the day before prepping for the day’s activities.  Along with cooking fantastic Lumberjanes inspired meals, we’d be making a cocktail, as well as other festivities.

Shooting the junk out of an evil Red Raptor may or may not have been one of them…

Compound bow and coffee 10704017_950747881619152_1795885515940224103_n 10294338_950747914952482_6299616775156747942_n

We felt fairly confident that we had done what we needed to do in order to shoot a successful, awesome, PERFECT and PROFESSIONAL first Webisode.

hahahahaHAHAHA.

ha.

HA.

Among many issues, Claire got cripplingly painful shin splints within the first hour or so of the day.  Because I have chronic back pain from my days in the Rodeo (absolutely serious about that, by the way. I’ll show you pictures one day) I happen to have prescription strength pain killers at my disposal always.  I gave two to  Claire to ease her pain-  which they did.   However, I didn’t realize she never takes pills, so not only did they kill her shin splints, they put her on a magical roller coaster that lasted alllll day.   We did this about three weeks ago, just so you know- the shin splints have NEVER come back.

Issue two-  we filmed half of our footage out of focus.

Issue three-  I had no idea how to work the microphones we borrowed.

So, to recap, Claire was high, Kate got drunk, I had no idea what we were doing, I could NOT stop dancing to that catchy Lumberjanes Cave Mix on Spotify, and 95% of our footage turned out like Raptor poo.

Kate not only managed to lose most of the arrows, she also nearly killed one of my chickens.  (absolutely serious about that too. We have footage, and it’s in focus, crazy enough.)  Which is bananas, because the arrows shouldn’t have gone anywhere near the chickens. I later realized Kate was left-handed, shooting my right-handed bow, and aiming with her left eye.  It explained why arrows were flying completely the wrong way. Many of which are still missing to this day.

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My ducks may have also been traumatized by being chased by a buzzed and accidentally high Claire and Kate.

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At the end of the day, we survived.  My chickens survived. My ducks survived. Our pride-  perhaps not so much.

But hey! Whatever! We had some amazing food, awesome cocktails, and a day we will never forget with rad friends who are crazy enough to think this was a good idea.  We stuck together, and awesome things happened.  I’d say it was a successful mission in the name of the Lumberjanes.

Friendship to the Max!

RECIPES

Sloppy (Lumberjane) Jo

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YOU WILL NEED:

1.5 Lb of 20% fat Ground Beef

4 Chopped Tomatoes

1 Chopped Whole Yellow Onion

Tomato Paste

Dijon Mustard

Spice Mix Containing:

2 Tbsp Brown Sugar

1 tsp Garlic Powder

1 tsp Onion Powder

1 tsp Cayenne Pepper

1/2 tsp Salt

1/2 tsp Pepper

HOW TO:

Start by browning your ground beef in a large pan and taking a bit of the fat out of it.  Do this on MEDIUM heat, to allow the juices to incorporate evenly with the meat.

Once the beef is browned and cooked, take it out of the pan and put it in a bowl, but leave the grease and fat in the pan.

Put your chopped onions in the same pan you browned your beef in. stir them around a bit on MEDIUM heat, then add your spice mix. Give it a minute or so to cook together.

Next, add your chopped tomatoes and let this cook down. All the juice and water from the tomatoes will let this cook down to a nice sauce.   When the tomatoes are pretty softened and you get a warm, more liquid-ish, softer saucy texture, add your ground beef back in.

While your sauce is cooking down. put some butter and garlic on your buns (hehehe) and put them in the oven on a lower heat setting, just to warm them up and toast them a bit.

Add about a tablespoon of dijon mustard, and about three tablespoons of tomato paste.

Stir it all up together and make sure it’s all warm.

Pull your buns out of the oven, and plat’em up with the Sloppy Jos.

In the name of Joan Jett- THAT’S what’s going on.

S’mores Cocktail (aka: Challis Ambrosia to the Kitten Holy)

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YOU WILL NEED:

Smaller/medium sized cup

1 oz Coffee Rum. (we used Below Deck Coffee Rum from East Side Distilling.)

1 Chocolate bar. (we used Woodblock Chocolate from Portland.)

Coconut milk. (or regular milk if you’re not lactose intolerant like Chelsea.) (Please don’t ask about the milkshake incident.)

Crushed Graham crackers on a small plate

Marshmallows

HOW TO:

Melt down the chocolate in a pot on the stove. Use a medium heat to avoid burning the chocolate. Add in the amount of milk you want for the intensity of the chocolate. If you want it to be richer in chocolate, add less milk. If you want it to be not as chocolatey and more coffee-ish from the rum, add more milk.

When your hot cocoa mix is ready, take your cup, hold it from the bottom, flip it upside down, and dip just the rim in the hot cocoa.

Then, dip the rim in the piled crushed graham cracker on the plate. The crumbs from the graham cracker will stick to the chocolatey rim.

Next, pour about 1 oz (or more) of Coffee Rum into the cup.

Fill almost the rest of the way to the top with the hot chocolate.

Roast your marshmallow, and when it is ready and super soft (or on fire, or burned) plop it in the top and stir it in to your cocktail.

I can only imagine what would happen if Ripley had one of these.

And finally, if you’d like to actually watch the video that is cautionary tale lore for those of you who think Webcasting is a piece of cake… by all means, here it is.    We just consider the fact that it’s very representative of us.  A little rough around the edges, but it gets the point across.

Here’s our first ever video where we give you a tutorial on how to make those magical Sloppy Jos, and then talk about how much we love the book. Excuse the long intro- we’ll consider it a formal introduction.  Hey world! Nice to meet you!

And here’s where we show you how to make that S’mores Cocktail!